official first update.

Well, let me begin by saying I don't even know where to begin.

Life lately has been crazy. Not in the sense of never being home and not having enough to time for anything, but just emotionally draining. I've realized that I've had less tolerance for people lately, and have been getting frustrated at the smallest things. Something I need to work on :P

One of my current struggles is friendship. Sometimes it's hard to tell who your real friends are. Who's going to be there through it all? And who's going to tell me they'll always be there.. just because it sounds good? Who's going to build me up? And who's going to let me fall... and make me feel horrible. I've been let down one too many times... and I know I've done the same to other people... I just wish I could find a way to stop the awful cycle.

And I've pretty much been struggling really bad spiritually. I just can't seem to make God REAL to me. I don't know what to do anymore... I'm tired of getting the "spiritual high" (like at camp and MYC) and going home to feel nothing. The loneliness is overwhelming.. and I KNOW how simple it is to fill it. But I can't... I wish I knew how.

On a happier note.. *insert smiley face here*

Family life is pretty good. (for those of you that know me well, you know that means a lot). I find it weird that I've been struggling through friendship more than family relationships :P but whatever.

oh oh! and I ordered my drivers ed crap yesterday :D *happy noises*

I think I'll be done now. I wonder if there's a way to find out if people actually read this? :P