Untitled.

Well. I woke up this morning. It was only 10:30... and I couldn't fall back asleep. So I got mad at myself and started giving ultimatums to my body.. "Fine. If you won't let me go back to sleep, I refuse to live this day through." I couldn't fall back asleep... so I tried to suffocate myself in my pillow... it wasn't working though.. I think I have a backup set of gills somewhere... so I gave up because I got hungry.. and got out of bed to eat breakfast...

I fell asleep on my phone last night. It's kind of annoying because I woke up with a big imprint on my face. I probably drooled on my phone too.. great. Now it'll stop working in a few days - and the insurance doesn't cover water damage...

Have you ever literally gotten up on the wrong side of the bed? It feels so weird... I have never gotten up on the left side of my bed (while my room has been arranged the way it is). I did that the other day.. and I felt like my whole day came crumbling down. It was the weird.

Anyone want to take me on vacation for my birthday? That's my birthday wish.

Isn't it weird how you can be completely comfortable holding a conversation with someone in person, but talking on the phone is awkward?

I haven't found a boy to be my hobby yet... that's always a downer on my day...

3 Days? Mayyybe.

Here's a brief update on my life.
(or as far back as I can remember. Which would be..... Wednesday)

Wednesday:
Date with Hannah and Rachel
I was really upset because to get a ride to meet them, I had to wake up super early and run a whole bunch of errands with my mom and my grandma. I met Rachel a little bit early, we went to Target and then sat in the Panera parking lot and talked. Panera was PACKED, so when Hannah got there we went to Sonic instead. Turns out my mom decides to pick me up WAY earlier than planned. I wouldn't have been so upset if I wouldn't have been sitting in the car for 3 hours waiting to be dropped off :P But. Yeah. At least I got to see their beautiful faces and eat a beautiful Sonic burger?

Thursday:
South Heights
Ughhh I hate South Heights :P My classes suck. And study hall is sooo lame now. I don't know what I'd do without Anna. Nothing really happened except Ben and Brett trying to condemn me for eating a muffin. (WHICH IS NOT DESSERT FOOD!)
Date with Andrea
YAY! This made my day. It was really sad though because we were supposed to go and take pictures! But guess h-what. It had to snow. Yeah :P SO. By default we went to the mall. After hardcore shopping and 40 texts from Ryan that said "Andrew and I are hiding in Dick's. We aren't coming out til you find us", Andrea and I decide to leave the mall. On the way out of Dick's Sporting Goods, we're joking about Andrew and Ryan hiding in a closet. I then make a joke about them hiding together in a tent... hey look! It's Ryan and Andrew!...in a tent? :P I won't go into any more detail, but Andrea and I left them and went to Chipotle. We were so excited to eat our burrito. It was intense. (P.S.- don't leave your burrito sit. The sour cream turns to water. Quite nasty.) After spending quality time with Andrea, Andrew and Ryan start missing us. We text them "come find us." and run across the parking lot to Barnes and Noble.
(this story is making no sense, but I'm laughing as I remember it.)
Anywayyyy... Andrew and Ryan eventually found us and we sat in the kids' books for like an hour, I swear. Ahhhhh Andrea! We must hang out more! She makes me HAPPY.. ;)

Mmmm.. Friday:
South Heights
I didn't fail my Physics test! WOOOOP! I got a B... minus? I don't know. I was POSITIVE I failed though. But I didn't. Huzzzzah.
Kaitlyn + Nate + Jeff - Physics = good class.
Soccer
I watched like 5 minutes of soccer. I was too busy spamming Brett's phone with pictures. And then Ryan and I ditched and went to the mall... which was awkward... because my mom thought I was at soccer.... And Ryan and I pulled in the parking lot at the same time as she did... story of the day...
Dinner and Movie
So I was a good little girl tonight and went out to dinner with Mike (uncle, for those of you who ask me everytime), my grandma, and my grandpa! It was actually really fun. I forgot it was possible to enjoy family time :P After dinner, Mike took me to the movie I Love You, Man. It was... yeah :P Pretty crude. Not the most amazing movie ever. Some super funny parts though. And ANDY SAMBERG was in it for like 4 whole minutes! hehe.
OH! AND! I got to see Kaitlyn! She was working at the theater. She looks cute in her uniform. *wiggles eyebrows*
OH! AND! I drove Mike's car! I loveee his car. And I haven't driven for a long time because of my anxiety crap.. so it was nice to drive and not die.
OH! AND! *awkward story of the day that I found really hilarious*
So at the theater, I was innocently leaning over the counter to talk to Kaitlyn... and I noticed Mike was kinda just looking around. I assumed it was because he didn't wanna feel like he was intruding on the conversation. Well as we were walking away, he says "This is disgusting. Those guys kept checking you out..." Naturally, I look over and there's a group of about 5 semi-emo boys (HOLLAAAA!!!) standing around in a circle. So Mike says "what a bunch of...... [something... inappropriate!]" Not very quietly! They TOTALLY heard. Slightly embarassing. But it was really funny... At least I know he's got my back...? :P

Tomorrow should be a good day. Peaceeee baby.

Vlog v.3

And THAT'S what you get when you let your heart win.

I'm going to write this while I'm in a horrible mood :P I wasn't in a bad mood until like, a half hour ago, but whatever :P

Problem #1 in life....... not even going there :P

I'm tired of reminiscing. It's gotten to the point where it's physically painful. It's the weather, I swear.

I'm so bored with life. It's like. okay. Eat, sleep, do homework, go on the computer, work out, watch TV. That's pretty much what 80% of my life is composed of.

I've gone back to the lonely side of the fence. (I just made that phrase up. don't ask)
I was pretty good about it for a while.. I've been in a super good mood lately, too! But recently it's just been.. blah. I feel kind of disconnected from people. It sucks..

I'm really sick of guys. Actually, that's a lie. I'm sick of the idea of guys. Being with a guy. Lovey doveyness. I'm sick of seeing that EVERYWHERE I go. Again, I've been really good with this lately! I've stopped caring about guys [in that way]. But recently it's been a pain :P Probably playing into the loneliness mindset. I dunno.

Plus! As of late, I've realized there's a blocker between me and every guy I'd want to be with! I'll let your mind wander with that one. Take it as you will :P

And bada bing, bada boom. I'm sucking with self-image lately. I've been completely obsessing over my body..

Tell me h-why I've fallen back into my crappy habits?
*scrunches nose*

I wish I had a "on a lighter note!" ending, but I don't :P

....and I can't even eat ice cream.

Well. that was depressing :P

Question of the day.

So last night I was watching Lie to Me, and these 2 people got married.
I'm not sure how I started thinking about this, pretty sure it was a huge rabbit trail of thoughts..
But I was texting Jonah when I thought of it, so I asked him. He gave me about 5 texts worth of "THAT IS A GOOD QUESTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and told me he wouldn't say anything unless I posted it on my blog :P
So here it is:

[ Is it wrong to lust over your spouse? ]


You'd think once you're married you won't have to be too concerned about sexual sin (unless it's obviously directed at other people other than your spouse :P), but I'm curious what you guys think :D

Once upon a time, I was forced to update my blog.

I've had steak 2 nights in a row. I'm not a huge steak person.

I heard Let It Rock at 11:11 AM today.

I need a new purse. I'm currently carrying around an Aerie tote.

STORYTIME:
So as some of you know, my great-uncle Steve is mentally handicapped in the sense of his brain slightly resembles the brain of a 6-year-old. I went out to dinner tonight with him, my uncle Mike, and my great-grandma. My grandma saw Adam Lambert on my phone and she started asking me about him. I said he was probably gay :P So my grandma started talking about how in HER generation, gay guys stayed in the closet; and that's how it should be :P meanwhile, Steve is making comments to himself that don't directly link to the conversation.
"Yeah, I'm getting old too!"
"I'm sick of gay guys in this generation"
Mike and I started laughing at some comment my grandma made about the closet, and then Steve just bursts out..
"I wish I could stay hiding in a closet. But nooo"
Mike and I DIE laughing.
then Steve goes on...
"It's not funny! I'll show you what I can do!"
Okay. We realize he has no idea what he's talking about. Mike chokes. I start CRYING. We're in a SUPER fancy steak house... I'm CRYING. People are like, what the heck. It was SO funny though. You had to be there :P

I've been craving ice cream and chocolate chip cookies SO bad lately.

I made myself chocolate chip pancakes this morning. But my grandma came and took over half way through making them, and burnt a few :P (the ones I made tasted the best)

I'm making myself hungry. 80% of this update is about food :P

It's weird being in my old room. It reminds me of the crazy things I used to do. Like stand on the knobs of my door while pushing the door back and forth (so much fun)

It's lonely down here.

Alex's Gtalk picture confuses me.

Alex can fly.

I love Kelly Clarkson's new CD.

I love in-your-face songs that give you the urge to scream at someone. They make you feel good. Give ya confidence? :P

I'm watching Lie to Me for the first time.

I still want a nose stud.

....And blonde hair.

The new Facebook is lame. It almost makes it too easy to stalk people. Is EVERYONE'S wall-to-wall on the homepage...?

Last week, I saw a film. As I recall it was a horror film. Walked outside into the rain. Checked my phone and saw you rang, and I...

Don't Panic!

Pretext: I will try to make this story as appropriate as possible :P

So. Tonight I was going through some crap in my room. I went through a bunch of my old makeup, threw some away, and decided to give Hailey the remains.
[those of you who don't know Hailey, she's my 5 year old sister]

I call Hailey in my room; she's standing in the middle of my room holding a handful of old lipgloss, wearing a big smile on her face. That's when both of our lives came to an end.
I was bending over, showing her how to open the cap to the strawberry lipgloss, and something from the ceiling FALLS DOWN MY SHIRT. I glance down and all I see is a teeny tiny black thing. SPIDER?!?!?!?!

Within a SPLIT second (that's my reaction time), I have all of my top layers in my hand.
It only took me 2 seconds to realize I'm standing in the middle of my room, half naked; my sister standing there with her mouth wide open.

Needless to say, her happy yay-I-got-new-lipgloss smile was gone.
It took her about 15 seconds to respond.. and finally she got the words
"Brookie... what... HAPPENED to you?"

[ I'm ashamed that I have officially scarred my sister for life. ]

(and it wasn't even a spider. it was a FLY__.)

The moral of the story is that I hope this NEVER happens to me when I'm around other people. Guys. I am dead serious when I say I did not react like that consciously. And I'm pretty positive if I had been standing in a room with 30 people, my subconscious reaction would have been the same. Scary to think about :P
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Rachel called me after I had changed my Twitter status to "Is officially never going to wear a shirt lower than a turtleneck. Ever :P"

I think I told the story a lot funnier on the phone; she couldn't talk she was CRYING so hard. (Yes, crying).

This is her face after I told her the story.

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AND THIS IS THE SCARIEST PART!!
THE fly (that started it all)

...Guys. I did NOT edit the music in there. It was legitimately playing in the background.

Vlog v.2

Vlog